But even if he does not...

16 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego replied to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to give you an answer concerning this matter. 17 “If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. 18 “But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” Daniel 3: 16-18 (emphasis mine)

We live in a quid pro quo society, expecting that if we do something for someone else, he/she will “owe” us or it will come back to us in good karma or at the very least, we’ve got one more check in the good person column. Isn’t that what the whole pay-for-the-person-behind-you-at-Starbucks phenomenon is all about? And why people get so upset that someone had the audacity to break it? As if they “deserved” the free coffee because they were paying for someone else! What’s crazy is that more than holding these expectations of one another, we often act as if this is how God operates. We gave him our loyalty, he makes good things (read: a baby) happen. If humans have faith in God, he will deliver security and prosperity (or a baby), right? Nope, that is the heresy of prosperity gospel teaching. Ok, but doesn’t Scripture say that all things work together for the good of those who are called according to his purpose? Aside from taking that verse out of its historical context, God‘s goodness or increase in good things happening to us are not contingent on our obedience or disobedience. God’s kingdom flips that on its ear. And demands our obedience anyway. 

In the midst of such a culture, I find myself grinding my teeth in this wait for a child.  The human part of me wants to shake my fist at God and say, “I’ve shown you my loyalty! I teach Sunday School, tithe on a regular basis, and have a Bible study at my house! I bought that coffee for the car behind me! Now it’s your turn to uphold your end of the bargain and give us a child.” I think it negates the weightiness of our waiting when we say things like, “it’s all in God’s plan” or try and Jeremiah 29:11 our way through a situation.  It’s almost like it releases us from the responsibility of obedience because we can just throw up our hands, sit back, and watch our life unfold instead of being co-creators with God.  

I’ve talked about the active work of waiting before, but my point today, is that, like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, my participation in this kingdom life cannot be just because I’m happily preparing for what I hope is on its way to me— in my current circumstance, a child.  No, my point today is that regardless of whether we get to parent a child or not, God is still good.  I don’t want to be like the Israelites in Judges who forgot their instruction to, “Be on [their] guard and diligently watch [them]selves, so that [they] don’t forget the things [their] eyes have seen and so that they don’t slip from [their] mind as long as [they] live.”
Deuteronomy 4:9.  

May my nerves be steeled for long, hard days of quiet faithfulness.  May my heart have resolve to be obedient in the big and small decisions and choices.  May I continue to remember the goodness and faithfulness of our Lord so that, as months go by with no child, I can bravely go in the unknown and know that whether I will ever be a parent or not, I serve a God like no other, a God who is able to give us a child, a God who is able to save us from the fiery furnace. But if He does not, I will serve Him still.